Saturday, September 8, 2012

Jogger Stroller Hell

Thing 1 telling Thing 2 to "talk to the hand"
Thing 2 is my little bruiser.

Occasionally they do sit still long enough for a photo together.

Who know that 2 sweet faced little boys and 3 wheels could make a 3 4 mile run sooooo soooo SOOOOOO difficult!!!

I had all the plans in the world for a 6 mile run this morning...then the alarm went off and I was freezing so I couldn't didn't drag myself out of bed.  Seriously, was NOT prepared for 36 degrees this morning!!!!!

The boys had been asking for a few days weeks for me to take them on a "un, go un MOMMA!!!" so I figured today would be the day.  Temps were expected to be fairly cool in the morning, so I figured a nice, easy paced 3 miles would be a perfect for the kids and still get me running.

Let me just say here, that while I'm a BAMR there was no way in God's green earth (or the brown color that has taken over the Sandhills since we have had 1 inche of rain since May) that I was pushing 55lbs of child + 23 lbs of stroller up hills for 6 miles.  Into the wind.   Not. Gonna. Happen.

Started getting Thing 1 and Thing 2 loaded up, which of course involved dressing them, rounding up sippy cups, a couple matchbox cars (each), apparently we had to have a Batman figure, then a blanket, forgot my watch, and my iPod, grabbed those and figured this was not starting out as well as I had hoped, so a water bottle was in order. 

Got them loaded and the tire is flat.  Thankfully hubby was still there so he helped me by taken the so I pushed the gimpy stroller down through the sand to the shop to pump up the tire.  He was cursing the tire the whole time, which was amusing to me since he was NOT the one trying to balance it just right as the puppy tried to grab at the now off the wheel tire and the kittens chased after the puppy.  I was cursing the stroller also.

Get down to the shop and Thing 1 takes off in one direction while Thing 2 takes off in another.  This is NOT an area the boys go to.  This is where hubbys does all the work on the ranch machinery.....AKA NOT CHILD PROOFED. 

So I'm chasing them, Hubs flips the stroller over and starts working on the tire.  Of course he removed all the above mentioned items before he flipped it over, right??? 

Wrong.  Shit everywhere.

Finally, we take off.....and my freaking arms are screaming at me to make the madness stop.  But oh F'N way am I not running now.  Not only that, I am running and pushing them for at least miles because I refuse to spend more time getting ready to run, then actually running.

Made it the first .5 before the first matchbox car came flying out.  Then another .3 before the second.  I let them know that if one more came out I was taking them all away. 

Apparently I should have clarified that including the sippy cup came out at 1.3.

Followed by another matchbox car that hit the ground with wheels down and kept on rolling.  Yes, I chased a matchbox car down the road. 

So I confiscated the remaining matchbox cars and as I was putting them in the basket, Batman landed on my head. 

Since I was already stopped in the middle of the road I figured this would be as good as ever to inform Thing 1 and Thing 2 that under no circumstances, should anything else that they ever want to see again EVER, come out of that stroller.  They were already not getting their cars back until they graduated from high school and unless they wanted to lose anything else, they better sit still, be quite and enjoy their happy little ride.  And be quite.

This seemed to help....there was some squirming and messing with the sunshields but for the most part, we were good.

Thing 2 looked at me with big blue eyes and said "lay down" so of course like any sane mom who wants her child to fall asleep good mom, I stopped and tried to figure out how to lower the seat.  Which I apparently do not know how to do and was so busy messing with I didn't see Thing 2 had gotten out of the stroller (minus shoes) and was coming over to help.  Got him back in, took his shoes (debris....I was thinking ahead) and took back off....with the seats up (stupid thing). 

Thing 1 wanted his shoes off cause Thing 2 didn't have his on, but in all my infinite wisdom, did not see this coming....until the blue Toys Croc went into the ditch.

I calmly and rationally explained to my angelic cherub faced children that I was going to go home and call Santa and cancel Christmas.  Thats rational, right??

Made it another .5 before the screaming started and as I pulled back the sunshields, I witnessed Thing 1 attempted to push Thing 2 out of the stroller.  Honestly, I told them to knock it off and kept moving.  Probably not MOTY qualification but hey..Thing 2 has 11lbs on Thing 1....he wasn't going anywhere. 

We got to the driveway and as tempting as it was to stop, again, I wasn't going to spend less time running then I did getting ready so we went right past the house for another .5 out and back....which brought on a whole new round of noise making when "mom mom momomomomomom MOM you missed the house" started. 

I did again what would get me MOTY.....turned up my tunes.

We made it home.....4 miles.  No idea how long.  Don't really care.  Both sippy cups, 2 small children (yes, the ones I started the run with) 2 pair of crocs, 4 hotwheels and 1 DS. 

Batman is MIA. 


  1. OMG, I wish you had this on a video. You could be your own reality show, never mind including the other Ranch Wives of Arthur.

  2. Kids just don't get that they are supposed to sit back and enjoy the ride! I read somewhere that pushing a stroller requires 20 percent more effort so it is almost like you did six miles since you had a double stroller! That is what I always tell myself when I resort to the stroller although mine are starting to get too big for it.
    Wrong. Shit everywhere. Love that part, just what my husband would do!