Wednesday, April 25, 2012

No good rotten mother truckers

Its that time of year again...the annual blog I have to write.  Really, I love to blog....but some topics I really REALLY despise and frankly, this is one of them.  And every.damn.year I find myself writing something very similar to what I wrote before.  But many different ways can I put it out there...

I F.N. HATE SNAKES.  Not even just a little bit...I mean ImafreakingdiZaster when the IDEA or POSSIBILITY of a snake within a 1 5 10 mile radius of me. 

Let me be honest....I would to live in Capri or Ireland and not because of the beautiful weather and gorgeous scenery. 

No snakes.

I know that many of you are new followers so let me put here that it really doesnt matter what kind of snake or how big.  Im a freak of nature when it comes to them and therefore, equal opportunity discriminator.  Gardener, Bull, Water....dont f'n care.  KILL EM ALL!!!  Yes, I realize that none of those are venomous.  I wont say deadly because when I drop for a heartattack after an encounter, it will be all the snakes fault. 

Let me cap the last couple of years since I moved into the Snakeandhills.

#Last year I almost stepped on a 5 footer walking to the barn.  Screamed.  Shawn killed him.

#Heard the dogs snake bark (yes, Junior had a different bark when he found a snake....what am Im gonna do now....pansey ass Husker runs and hides.....CRAP!!) sent Shawn outside...killed one 6 feet from our door.  Or so I thought...but when THE barking started again....sent Shawn back out again.  THEN it started AGAIN and I told Shawn he wasnt coming back into the house until the snake was dead and buried and not coming back.  That was a 3 footer (and in several pieces). 

# Two ago heard THE BARK right outside the living room window.  That one was "little"  feet.  He got post HERE.

Several on the road (that I ran over), dogs cornered 4 total in our yard so Im guess the realistic actual number of how many are there is more like 1,256,357.

I know that time of year is here when I start seeing facebook posting like "saw 2 bull snakes in the driveway" and "killed a bull snake today". 

THEN my father-in-law came over for cinnamon roll Thursday Wednesday and informed me that he shot one on their sidewalk last night.  Great.  Then he had to add that it didnt die right away, it was still moving when they got home from the school program so my MOTHER-in-law (yes is just as bad as I am...really) had to finish it off and bury it.  At least one person in my family understand. 

It was just a matter of time before I saw one. 

OK, so I havent actually SEEN one yet.  But he was there....I was warned, and told and confirmed the existence (well, former existence) of a really big (and I dont mean big as in my over-active imagination BIG, I mean, Shawn's exact words were "that was a big sonofabitch....he made a thud when I ran him over") bullsnake smack in the middle of the road.  MY road...MY RUNNING ROAD.  The place I was this of the hill where the f'ers always are.  ALWAYS. 

Kari sent me a text, told me to run the other direction because she knows that I am of out control paranoid beyond help a freak of nature when it comes to this little problem and its better for all to avoid it all together. 

She assured me it was dead.  Sort of...."if its not dead its close to it"

Not good enough...I replied "go back and kill it" P.S. She lives 7 miles down the road...NOT in the direction of the snake. 

I told her I would have Shawn go get it off the road.  YES, I make my husband move the dead snakes off the road.  Again...better for all involved.  I just bought him a big frickin' gun, he can relocate the dead snake. 

She (this is the part where she proves how much she loves me) said if it wasnt gone when she drove back home, she would move it for me.  AWWWW...thats what true friends are warn you of the snake and then move the dead ones so you dont have to see it.

So now you are all aware.  Painfully from laughing so hard at the depth of my ridiculousness.  Some of you have witnessed it.  Some of you only imagine how bad I it can be (you have no idea...I called my dad once.....he lives in Michigan....but it made sense at the time).

I will have you all know that I am perfectly capable of killing a snake....thats why I have shotguns and shells in the basement.  All I have to do is point in general direction and fire away.  THAT I can do. 

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Rest Day

I had to take a rest day today.  Im at the point where if I dont and let my body heal, its going to pull a serious tantrum and just quit working all together.  Probably not but thats my fear.

Listening to my body is NOT my strong point.  Pushing past the pain is something Im fairly skilled in as I tend to throw a "suck it up buttercup" and keep going.  Not really the best skill to keep sharp and ready to use.  Maybe all those motivation saying and photos I have hanging off my fridge are coming back to bite me in the ass hamstring.

Here we are now 2.5 weeks from Lincoln.  I was going to see about getting one more 10 miler in because for some reason that has become my favorite distance to run (i know i know...certifiable) but I have 3 of in them in so instead Im going to listen to my very smart, clearly thinking friends body and start tapering!!  Yay..that means race days iS ALMOST HERE!!!!!!!

It has taken me sometime to realize that I got this.  I can run a 1/2 marathon.  The distance training is done and there isnt anything else I can do to really "train".  Training is done....Im into maintaining now. 

I have a tentative plan.....2:05...HOLY CRAPTINI!!  There is it, in writing.  A 2:05 for my first 1/2 Marathon.  Very doable.  Thats a 9:33 pace with the smart pacing group that is set for the course.  My typical training run is 9:20-9:40.....9:33 is doable.  I have one 10 mile run with Katie done at 9:22.....with Heather and Jamie 10:35 and Kari and I did one with average of 9:35 last week in less then stellar conditions.  Taking into considering the lack of hills (we train on hills daily) and race day atmosphere.....9:33 is entirely possible.

But not if I dont take the time and listen to my legs.  Sooooo....the plan for the next few weeks will be spend just playing around.  If I hurt, Ill probably stop.  Ill keep it interesting with some speed work.  Nothing to traumatizing.  Maybe.   Ill try to stay a few steps in front of that little voice in my head telling me Im a loon.  Ill make it to the starting line HEALTHY so I can make it to the finish line STRONG.  2:05 aside...thats my ultimate goal. 


Tuesday, April 17, 2012

10 miles, JumboTran, Soldiers......

Sunday Kari, Katie, Heather and I had plans for a long run....10 miles.  Katie and Heather fell victim to sickness and stay home and out of the wind, rain, 37 degrees and 30-40 mph winds.  I cant say I blame them.  Jamie coached 1,258 jr high volleyball games that weekend and I dont think she really ever committed to 10 miles of running on her day off.   Pretty sure I cant blame her for that on either :)

Kari had been gone for about a month and really wanted 10 being the moron dedicated running I am, told her I was game to go in the above conditions that happen when Mother Nature forgets to take her meds.  Again. 

I have hubby drive me down to drop a car off, then drive me up to Kari's house to start our run. 

We had a little bit of everything....rain, wind (ok we had lots more then a little bit of wind), hills, flats....typical run in the Sandhills.  It was cold but once we got going, it wasnt terrible.  Got it done in good time 1:35 giving us a pace of 9:35 overall....which is great because Im pacing the 2:05 smart pace group in Lincoln and that pace is 9:32!  Happy dance....if my glutes werent screaming at me and a softball hadnt taken up residence in my hamstring.  But once the aching stops, then I do a happy dance. 

So far, the aching hasnt subsided.  Im sore.  And not just a little sore but body screaming what have I dont to myself sore.  Im hoping that this is because of the cold and less then stellar conditions because this was 10 miler #3 and I didnt hurt after the first two.  And Im not talking little aches Im talking hurts to sit down, stand up, walk MOVE.  Im hesitant to push for another long run and may just start my taping a week early.  I know I have the its just a matter of staying healthy and making it to the starting like so I can make it to the finish line strong.  I really dont want to be on the jumbo tron at Memorial Stadium being dragged across the finish line by National Guardsmen......

then again.....

I MIGHT make an exception if they look like this....just sayin'

Friday, April 13, 2012

Five Things Friday

1.  Just signed up for my second 1/2 (YES before I have run the first..isnt that how obsessive people roll).....Denver Rock 'N' Roll here I come!!!

2.  According to this very scientific study Im either royally screwed should the Zombie's comes or Im totally safe because there isnt anything here to take except cows and sand.  But just in case, these are the rules we are living by.....should the zombie come.  Not that they will...but if they do...just sayin'

Im hoping they wait till after RnR Denver.  I would be very upset if Zombies messed up my race.

3. Last weekend Shawn told me to get a TV for our bedroom. I told him I would rather have a laser for my gun. Today, I renewed his membership to Sportsmens Guide without him telling me I needed to because I could get ammo cheaper. Wifey of the Year right here...thankyouverymuch. doesnt take much to make him happy.

It comes in green for the case you were wondering.

4.  Apparently, I embarrass my 9 year old daughter.  Tragic, isnt it.  She hasnt seen anything yet.

5.  Potty training isnt going terribly well, but it isnt going terribly yet either.  So far he has peed on (as in ON the SIDE) of the potty twice (missing the toilet bowl itself completely), and on the floor next to the potty (after sitting on it for 10 minutes reading his book) and on the floor countless time.  But he is telling me each time he has to go and when he pees on the floor I know because he goes and finds a towel, shakes his head and say "I pee".  Its a step in the right direction, right...I mean...a boy, WILLINGLY cleaning up after himself.  I must be doing something right.
So tired after cleaning up all his pee on the floor.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012


Today we had to make the decision that all pet owners have to face and let our beloved dog, Junior, go.  He was 13 and until the last few months....full of spunk and spit fire. 

I remember telling my mom all about him after my first trip here.  Shawn warned me that if he had thumbs, he would be dangerous.  His favorite way to greeting you was to stand up and box with you.....he would get his front paws going so fast that I knew instantly what Shawn meant, if he had thumbs, he would grab on and game over. 

He only had one eye because he had an unfortunate confrontation with a porcupine when he was a year old.  It gave him character and never slowed him down.  He knew exactly what was going on, when and didn't miss anything.  From what I hear, Junior was the winner in that battle, I would hate to see what the porcupine looked like!

He loved to run with me.  That's when I knew he wasn't doing so hot.  Instead of being way ahead of me, tracking birds from one side of the road to the other (I swear, for every 1 mile I ran he would track out 3), he would stay right with me.  Then he was falling behind.  Then he couldn't keep up for 3 miles and he would lay down in the middle of the road to take a break.  Eventually, I had to start leaving him home.  At first, he howled but then he just got used to it.  I would open the door and while Husker the crazy 3 year old cow dog would be bouncing around like an idiot, Junior would simply walk into the house and curl up on the porch.  He knew.

My favorite memory of him though was the night before we got married.  We stayed at our house and while Shawn was partying like a red-neck rock star at the bar in town for his bachelor party, I was home having panic attacks about the wedding.  I don't know why...I was really calm and chill through the whole planning process but that night, it hit me.  Junior was right there and while I flipped out and cried like a baby, he jumped into bed, curled up next to me stayed there till Shawn got home.  He was my rock that night and I will never forget that. 

He was a ranch running, bird hunting, bachelor raised, kick ass dog.  He loved to rough house, he didn't know how to play gently and he could, would and HAS whipped the SHIT out of any critter who came onto his land he didn't want there.  He was scruffy but brushing him out and making him look civilized (as I called it) was worthless.  The only thing he loved more then running and chasing stuff was getting wet and dirty.  Forget drinking from the edge of the tank....he would just dive in. 

He was Shawn's buddy from the start.....I can pretend that he was my dog but he wasn't....I came along into that duo way to late.  I joke that he loved me more because I didn't make him sleep in the dog house when it was cold bad for me, he preferred to be outside instead.  Its hard to chase stuff when you locked in.  He raised him, trained him, had his mom and dad both for awhile.  This is hard on him.  Hard on all of us. 

I called the vet and scheduled his appointment for this afternoon.  I love where we live, the vet is stopping by here so we don't have to take him into town and bring him home.  Just take him to his spot and it will be taken care of there.  Very peaceful...which is all I ever want for my dogs.  They are my 4 legged kiddos and its hard to say goodbye, but its necessary.  I would rather have them and love them so much it hurts to let them go, then never have them at all.
Rest in Peace to our One-Eyes Bird Dog 
You will be missed.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Free Babysitting

Piper is an amazing big sister.  She tolerates adores her brothers and there is very little she wont put up with from them.  They are constantly messing up her room, using her for a jungle gym and a trampoline and she isnt afraid to dive on with it comes to shitty dirty diapers.

Recently, we have been leaving her home with them to watch them.  She is going to be 10 in a few months, and we live in such a desolate rural area, that we are not worried about someone showing up at the door with her there.  Also, when we do "leave" her its usually just for me to go run a few miles while Shawn is working and more recently, I go tag with Shawn in the morning and she stays with the 2 legged critters.  We never actually leave the property....we are just a few miles away and a couple minutes down the road.

The problem is that even though she is in charge and being independent, she still wants to tell mommy every.little.thing.   A couple days ago, she called me 5 times in the span if 9 minutes.  I didnt even get the chance to call her back from the last message before the phone rang again. 

So today, I tried a pre-emptive strike.....

Me -"Do Not call me unless someone is unconscious, there is blood or the bone is poking through someones skin."

Piper - "If the skin is red after Bran bites me, does that count as blood?  It could start bleeding".

Me - "No."

We made it 12 minutes before she called, which happened to be the exact time I was sitting on top of a calf, praying his belloring momma was only pretending she wanted to tap dance on my face, while attempting to get the stupid tagger out from under him as he fell on top of it when I dropped it to grab his tail and flip him over. 

Me - "Yes"
Piper - "Bran fell out of the chair."
Me - "Is he bleeding?"
Piper- "No"
Me - "Is he unconscious?" I can hear him in laughing in the background
Piper -"No"
Me - "Is there bone poking through his skin?"
Piper - "No"
Me - "Did he cry?" again, laughing toddler in the background
Piper - "No, he laughed and did it again"
Me - "Then why did you call me?"
Piper - "Just thought you might want to know in case he starts crying or complaining of hurting in a few hours and Im down at grandmas and you cant figure out why and because Im down at grandmas I cant tell you that it might be from him falling off the chair."
Me - "goodbye Piper"
Piper - "bye mommy".

What can I say....she is a free babysitter.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Easter Eggs

Piper has been freaking out asking for the last few weeks WHEN are we going to color Easter Eggs?  She didnt have school yesterday so that was my plan....go to town, get the eggs, dye away the afternoon and voila....happy 9 year old girl.

To bad for me and my plans the store didnt have any eggs when I went in.  Drats. 

Sooooo, I revamped the plan for Saturday which I was informed by the 9 year old female that was cutting it a bit close for the Easter Bunny, which is when we went into this 7 minute schpeel about how the Easter Bunny NEED people to dye their eggs a couple days in advance because then he know how many he has to hop around and pick up.  I think thats the jist of what she was saying...honestly, I tuned out 28 seconds in.

Today was the day!!!  Got the eggs, boiled them...rounded up little cups for the dye and she went to town.  Thing 1 and Thing 2 did not get to dye eggs because well, they cannot be trusted to not dye themselves each other period.

So they got markers and went to town.

Piper did great.....of course.  Her OCD kicked in and they all had to be perfectly shaded and glitter-ified but ya know, she is 9...she can handle it herself.

Sage loved "dawn picture!!" and each one was DINO DAN. 

Bran did as anticipated and seemed to miss the egg each time he went to color it......getting the table and his face. 

Oh well....happy kids = happy mom. 


Friday, April 6, 2012

Uphill and into the wind

Not just "wind" but "WInd" only the first 2 letters are capital because as wondefully craptastic as the wind is today it can be worse.  Much worse.
I planned my long run for Friday this week because Sunday is kinda booked with Mr. Bunny hopping his happy little furry butt to town. 
I planned on getting up at 6am, going for 8-10 and being home before Shawn had to leave to check calves but it didnt really matter if I was later because Piper didnt have school today and she could watch the boys for a few minutes. 

I did not plan on the 30-40 mph sustained winds with gusts 50-60.  Hmmmmm.....could be interesting. 
I did plan a route of 2 miles out and back.  That would keep me out of the killer hills, give me a place to leave my water (mailbox) and only have to do 2 laps. 
I got all my stuff laid out making sure to remember my knee brace wrapy thingy (does that have a specific name???), charged my iPod, Garmin, found my shoes and EVEN laid out my socks. 

Yep...Prepared (with a capital P...hey...everyonce in awhile I kinda know whats going on).
I carb loaded Thursday night, I drank tons o' water, went to bed semi early...Im telling ya...Prepared. 
So WHHY did Mother Nature aka SUPREME BITCH WOMAN feel it necessary to screw up my plan with wind.  Havent we had enough wind this spring?  AHHHHHH!!!!
Anyway, the first 2 miles were brutal.  Uphill and straight into the wind.  But it did help knowing that I only had to do that for 2 miles.  It drizzled a little but it wasnt terribly cold so it wasnt bad.  My legs felt strong, my music was going (Yes, I had my iPod going today...better then the wind!!!) and I felt good. 
FINALLY (all caps) I was getting a good groove and I felt like if I didnt have the wind, I would dominate 10-12 miles!! 
Alas (getting all fancy on ya now, right :) I did have the wind and while miles 3-4 were border line pleasant (going with the wind) I then had to face the wind, again for miles 5-6.  BRUTAL (caps).  But got it done.  Then I was happy to turn around and head back for the last 2 miles.  At mile 7, I made the decision to go for 10 miles....thats how freakin' good I felt!!!  In that gosh-awful wind I was ready to push 2 miles farther then I had initially planned.  My ankle was tweaking a bit but thats from the car that came up behind me and startled me, which resulted in my stepping off the road and rolling my ankle.  Nothing major...just and ache.  My knee felt good, my hamstring was tight but not driving me bonkers.  I was ready for more.
To bad for me Shawn put the dog outside not realizing I had changed my mind (despite what I want to have happen, he is not a mind reader......then again maybe I dont want that).  Anyway, I hit 8 miles, turned around and went back for 2 more but my little red buddy was trotting along behind me. 
Our 13 year old Irish Setter, Junior, loves to run with me.  Unfortunately, he is having some hip problems and some back issues and he just cant handle it anymore.  He cant stand being left behind so he keeps following me.  He is good for about a mile so I just went back out for .5.  Its hard to not be able to have your running buddy be able to hang anymore.  Makes me a little sad.

But my run was great......1:24 giving me a 9:52 pace.  With the wind...ILL TAKE IT!!!  Felt great to get it done, and while I miss running with my human running buddies it was nice to get it done solo.  I think its important to be able to say "I can do this and I can do it alone".  I know I can accomplish many things with my friends there but I think its really important to prove to myself that I can do this alone also. 
Tomorrow, recovery run of 2-3 miles....maybe a few miles on Sunday before over indulgence in jelly beans, and then another long run on Monday if the girls are still game for one?  Im at the point now where its about the long run and making them solid and strong.  Maybe not "Fast" but "strong".  I dont want to crawl across the finish line in Lincoln :)

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Preemie Awareness

Did you know that April 4th was named Preemie Awareness Day in Australia.  Well, it started a few years ago in Australia but being about kiddos and especially kiddos who have a rough start in life, its a story that families all over the world can relate to.  And thanks to social media, April 4th gave us one more reason (as if we needed one) to celebrate how amazing our little one's are. 

Most of you know that Thing 1 (aka Sage) is my resident preemie.  Ill spare you the exciting details but I developed severe pre-eclampsia in my second trimester which led to an early induction and the arrival of my little man on November 3, 2009 at 34 weeks.  Weighing 4lbs3oz and 16 inches long. 

We spent the next 13 days living in a daze hotel room nightmare car hospital room (that happened to be 90 miles away ONE WAY...just sayin....) holding our little man every couple of hours and praying as much as possible. 

I wrote a blog post the mothers day after he was born because it dawned on me (DUH) that there are alot of moms who would be celebrating their first mothers day listening to monitors humming and leads beeping in the temperature controlled HOT BOX called the NICU.  They would hope that this would be the day that their little one would suck on the bottle and be able to lose the dreaded NG tubes.  The would cry when their littles one opened their eyes when they said their names, and they would cry when their touched made their babies cry, because the nerves in their skin were still very sensitive.

I wanted to post that blog again because its PREEMIE AWARENESS DAY!!  I encourage you to send up some extra prayers for the littlest little ones who are fighting such huge battles so early on.  But also, send a prayer up for their parents.  The babies are in the best possible situations for them and many of them thrive....but there isnt much there for mom and dad.  The nurses do the best they can to reassure you and support you but really......someone else is taking care of your baby.  Thats the hardest part.  Pray for the preemies and pray for their moms and dads...grandmas and grandpas, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins and everyone else who loves them.  My preemie is now a wild and crazy 2.5 year old who doubles as a spider monkey in his spare time.  He is a lover and terrorist and 100% perfection.  Sending prayers to all the NICU moms and dads that their babies will be as happy and healthy as mine is.